Cover Letter
—Tony Zhao
—June 22, 2007
—Cover Letter
Thanks for reading Tony’s Writing Portfolio! In this portfolio, you will find one reading log, three essay drafts and a final-time writng, selected from Tony’s English writings.
The reason to choose these writings is because they reflect Tony’s improvement in his writing ability after taking Ron Corio’s Advanced English Writing Class. The three drafts reveal what I think after reading the story of “Dead Men’s Path”. As you continue reading from Draft One to Draft Three, you can notice the progress achieved in gammar, thesis statement, supporting evidence, as well as length of the essay. For instance, the thesis in Draft One is relatively vague, while in Draft Two it becomes strong of the same meaning, but its weakness lies in that the thesis can be clearly seen from the story. Finally in the last draft, the revised thesis is strongly stated and turns to be more impressive, because it carries some idea that is not obvious from the original story. The Final- timed writing is about a movie advertisement, or a “trailer” I design for the story of “The Grass-Eaters”, inside which I select a scene representing the theme of the story. The last item in Tony’s Writing Portfoio is a reading log for the famous French literature “The Necklace”, which shows my perspectives of the great changes happened to Mathilde. Hope you will find more as you read through my portfolio!
The order of the six items in Tony’s Writing Portfilio is set chronologically except for the Final-Timed Writing. The chronological order ,like that of the three essay drafts, is supposed to reflect the progressive improvement through the four months of writing. The Final-timed writing is arranged to appear after the three essay drafts because it is both shorter, and the idea of the improvement in writing ability would be seen more easily if the three essay drafts are posted right under this cover letter.
I am really grateful to Ron and his instructive Advanced English Writing Class for introducing the idea of free writing to me, as well as many other suggestions and guidances. Before I enter this class, I would spend a lot of time only thinking about what I am going to put down on my exam paper, how to arrange the focal points in the composition, etc, before eventually coming up with one word in the timed writing! More often than not, I would hand in an essay with an almost perfect beginning but a rough and uncomplete ending, which make the several different paragraphs inconsistent with each other both in length and language style. Now I suppose you will not find big sign of incoherence in Tony’s Final-timed Writing. The improvement attributes to the help of free writing, of which the benefit is not only limited to this class, but covers the timed writings of other exams as well.
Really appreciate your patience of reading my portfolio!
Essay Draft Three
—Tony Zhao
—May 29, 2007
—Draft Three
Obi’s Job Obsession
It is always interesting to see different cultures encounter each other, which sometimes dissolve into a wonderful, if not perfect harmony, such as the ideal combination of eastern and western culture. Contrary to this harmonious melting, the collision of two distinct cultures are more likely to turn into a battle, as Chinua Achebe described in his story Dead Men’s Path. It is set at the turn of the twentieth century, when Nigeria was under the control of the British, and Christianity as well as the western education was introduced into the tribal area, this is what the protagonist of the story, Micheal Obi, attempts to make. However, the local priest protests his reformation as Obi insisted on cutting off the Dead Men’s Path, which the tribal ethnic group believes to be the one by which their “dead relatives depart” and visit them (54).
Many people would agree that cultures should be viewed, or appreciated without value judgement, which Obi does not realize because all his heart and soul is devoted to his job performance without respecting the tribal tradition and ritual.
When the local priest came to Obi for the dead men’s path, his disrespect to the traditional belief can be seen as he refers to the tribal belief as “fantastic”, and his only reply, as harsh and indifferent as it is, was to teach the children to “laugh at such ideas” (54). His mocking voice shows his impoliteness and haughtiness both to the local tribal belief and the priest present. Serious as the priest is when telling Obi the importance of the unique path to both the dead men and the children to be born, Obi only made fun of the tribal belief, joking that their ancestors will not “find the little detour too burdensome.” (54)
Not only does Obi consider the tribal belief to be stupid and supersitious, but he also insults those in the teaching field, which is revealed from his denigration of “these old and superannuated people” (52). What is more, he also flouts them by saying they “would be better employed as traders in the Onitsha market” (52). It is apparent that Obi considers the other headmasters as incompetent in teaching, ignorant of the modern methods.
As is already mentioned, Obi’s discrimination and ignorance of the tribal culture result from the fact that he is obsessed with the idea of self-actualization through the job as a headmaster. First hearing the “joyful news of his promotion”, Obi is determined to “make a good job of it” together with his wife (52). Even when one teacher of three years of educational experience told Obi about the big row confronting the attempt to close the dead path and its importance to the local people, his response is “it will not be used” (53) and firmed determination to make the path disappear, which is proved by “heavy sticks” and “barbed wire” put in the path (54). The reason is fairly easy to see through his fear of the villagers’ using “the schoolroom for a pagan ritual during the inspection” (53), as Obi only cares what “ the Government Education Officer thinks” might influence his job evaluation in a negative way.
Hard as Obi tries to protect his dream from the slightest taint of ruin which the tribal belief might have caused, his endeavor of self-actualization eventually get denied as the white Supervisor inspecting the school commented on his work as “the misguided zeal of the new headmaster” (54). The sad, but instructive end of the story seems to reveal that the obsession of job performance can sometimes lead people to its opposite consequence —failure. Furthermore, it can make people so self-centered as to forget what they can contribute.
Work Cited
Chinua Achebe. “Dead Men’s Path”. 1953. Rpt. in The International Story: An Anthology with Guidelines for Reading and Writing about Fiction.Ruth Spack. New York: St. Martin’s 1994.
Essay Draft Two
—Tony Zhao
—May 19, 2007
—Draft Two
Disrimination Against Tribal Tradition
It is always interesting to see different cultures encounter each other.,which sometimes dissolve into a wonderful, if not perfect harmony, such as the ideal combination of eastern and western cultures. On the contrary, the collision of two distinct cultures are more likely to turn into a battle, as an author,Chinua Achebe described in his story Dead Men’s Path.. Whose protagonist Micheal Obi attempted to introduce the western education into the tribal area. His reformation got confronted by the local priest as Obi insisted on cutting off the Dead Men’s Path, which the tribal ethnic group believes to be the one by which “our dead relatives depart and our ancestors visit us ”.
Many people would agree that cultures should be viewed, or appreciated without value judgement, though it is obviously not the case of Obi. Through his arguement with the priest, as well as his conversation with his wife and the rest of the passage, it is not hard to realize that Obi considers the traditional tribal belief to be inferior to the western culture, in another word, he discriminates against the tribal tradition.
Evidence 1
Obi's disrespect of the traditional belief can be seen through his response to the priest. “…to eradicate just such beliefs as that…the whole idea is fantastic…to teach our children to laugh at such ideas”. His mocking voice shows his impoliteness and haughtiness both to the local tribal belief and the priest present. Concerning the obstacles put around the path, Obi made fun of the tribal belief by saying “ I don’t suppose our ancestors will find the little detour too burdensome.”
Evidence 2
Page 52, his denigration of “these old and superannuated people…who would be better employed as traders in the Onitsha market”. It's apparent that Micheal regard other headmasters as market traders, incompetent of teaching careers. However, his denigration does not just stay on this superfacial level referring to the local people, the background of which is the Nigeria at the turn of the century under control of Britain. I would regard the tribal people to represent the tribal spirit. In this sense, Obi is actually insulting the tribal culture and belief.
Evidence 3:
When told the big row confronting the attempt to close the dead path and its importance to the local people , Obi's response is an immidiate ignorance of people's feelings (“That was some time ago. But it will not be used now&rdquo
and firmed determination to make the path disappear, which is proved by “heavy sticks” and “barbed wire” put in the path.(P54, Para 1)
Essay Draft One
—Tony Zhao
—May 9, 2007
—Draft One
Disrimination Against Tribal Tradition
In the story of Dead Men’s Path, written by Chinua Achebe, the author describes Micheal Obi’s attempt to introduce the western education into the tribal area. His reformation got confronted by the local priest as Obi insisted on cutting off the Dead Men’s Path, which the tribal ethnic group believes to be the one by which “our dead relatives depart and our ancestors visit us ”. Through his arguement with the priest, as well as his conversation with his wife and the rest of the passage, it is not hard to realize that Obi considers the traditional tribal belief to be inferior to the western culture.
Evidence 1
Obi's disrespect of the traditional belief can be seen through his response to the priest. “…to eradicate just such beliefs as that…the whole idea is fantastic…to teach our children to laugh at such ideas”. His mocking voice shows his impoliteness and haughtiness both to the local tribal belief and the priest present.
Evidence 2
Page 52, his denigration of “these old and superannuated people…who would be better employed as traders in the Onitsha market”. It's apparent that Micheal regard other headmasters as market traders, incompetent of teaching careers. Obi’s discrimination against these people is actually insulting the tribal culture and belief.
Evidence 3:
When told the big row confronting the attempt to close the dead path and its importance to the local people , Obi's response is an immidiate ignorance of people's feelings (“That was some time ago. But it will not be used now&rdquo and firmed determination to make the path disappear, which is proved by “heavy sticks” and “barbed wire” put in the path.(P54, Para 1)
Final-timed Writing
—0534127
—Tony Zhao
—June 21, 2007
—Time-writing 3
Directions: If you were to create a filmed advertisement (a “trailer&rdquo for a movie based on The Grass-Eaters, which scene would you select? Why? Discuss ways in which you might film the scene. (100%)
The scene to be selected is when Ajit Babu and his wife meet with a carriage, which made Babu wild with joy because they eventually get a place to shelter themselves. However, the pleasant scene suddenly switches to be somber as Babu’s wife refuses to live in that carriage as she tells Babu that she is pregnant, not able to bear a bumpy wife in the carriage.
The reason to choose this scene is that it provides reader with hope and release at the beginning but finally replaces it with an astonishing fact that the wife is pregnant. Such a striking scene is representative of the impoverished, unsteady and miserable life “The Grass-Eaters” is leading, which copes with the theme of the story.
The beginning of the advertisement clip is going to display a nice and cozy carriage, contrasted with the terrible living conditions of the protagonists: their shabby clothes, exhausted spirits as well as Babu’s joy to see such a wonderful place, as if it was waiting for them to occupy. What come next are images of Babu’s imagination of their future life in the carriage, including a comfortable room only belonging to the two beloved couple, total isolation from the noisy, disturbing outside world, what is more, sweet whispers, laughter and sex in the blessed carriage. All of a sudden, Babu’s imagination comes to a cease when his wife says “I will not live in it!” closely followed by a piece of somber and disappointing music. Finally, the viewers’ question is solved when Babu’s wife takes his hand and softly places it on her stomach, which obviously reveals that she is pregnant.
Reading Log
The ending part of The Necklace sounds tragic to many readers who grieve over Mathilde's lost youth and beauty. Nonetheless, it is more a blessing than a tragedy for her to pay for the necklace at the price of losing what used to capture all her soul.
The ten years Mr. and Mrs. Loisel spent paying back their debts is definitely a huge burden and hardship for the lower-class couple. However, it is the very debt that brings Mathilde back to reality to taste the survival bitterness, which in turn taught her a lesson on the price of vanity exhausting both herself and her innocent husband. What really shocks me is Mathilde's reaction when she happened to meet Mme. Forestier, a friend whose social and economic status is much higher than the old, poor Mathilde ,who was no longer the Mme. Loisel ten years ago that would never expose her relatively lower-level identity to a Bourgoies. Instead, she was willing to tell someone higher in social status about her current situations. From that point of view, the deal is indeed a blessing in disguise, which gives Mathilde bravery to face the reality.
Guy de Maupassant left enough space for us to imagine what would happen to the “brand-new” Mathilde when news reached to her that the necklace she spent ten years paying back is actually paste. Mad or rageful may Mathild be, it will not disaprove the fact that Mathilde has become mature spiritually.